This Song

Recently I helped a former student do a project for a gifted and talented class (if you know me is a far stretch for me). For part of the project he had to think of three songs that help define him and produce the lyrics and describe why. I am not very knowledgeable of songs and certainly not their lyrics, but also we worked together to come up with two. He is very close to his family so I come up with We Are Family and he choose You Are My All and All, a praise and worship song—first of all WOW for a 6^th grader to choose that---- but it gave me the thought to come up with one for myself in my life right now. We sing lots of awesome songs at church that can draw me into a musical worship of Christ. The one, though, that has stuck for right now and I listen to it almost daily is Never Once by Matt Redman. This song, I think is a great description of our life with Christ yesterday, today, and tomorrow. I need to know and be confident that I am not walking this life on my own.

I do believe that for every step of my life, He has been with me. I do not always understand it. There are times when I am disappointed with it, but I can believe that he has been there. I can look back and see that. I can look and see how he has been merciful to me, how he has provided for me, how he has carried me and loved me tenderly and how he has disclipline me justly. I know that there will be scars and struggles that will come and would come even if I would not be venturing into this next season of my life, but I am certain that this next one will have discouragement, disappointment, expectations will be stricken, and that there will be days when I will questions what I have done. I am sure there will be tears, because I do that sometimes.

BUT

I know in all this I will not walk alone. I believe that God ordained these days to come. He knows what will happen before I do. He knows the fun things that will happen, the situations that will be stressful and I will need help from others. I am sure that I will mess up because I do that often anyways, but I constantly amazed by God’s sweet grace and am looking forward to praising him though this season.

Never Once

Standing on this mountaintop

Looking just how far we’ve come

Knowing that for every step

You were with us

Kneeling on this battle ground

Seeing just how much You’ve done

Knowing every victory

Was Your power in us

Scars and struggles on the way

But with joy our hearts can say

Yes, our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone

Never once did You leave us on our own

You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Kneeling on this battle ground

Seeing just how much You’ve done

Knowing every victory

Was Your power in us

Scars and struggles on the way

But with joy our hearts can say

Yes, our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone

Never once did You leave us on our own

You are faithful, God, You are faithful

You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Scars and struggles on the way

But with joy our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone

Carried by Your constant grace

Held within Your perfect peace

Never once, no, we never walk alone

Never once did we ever walk alone

Never once did You leave us on our own

You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Every step we are breathing in Your grace

Evermore we’ll be breathing out Your praise

You are faithful, God, You are faithful

You are faithful, God, You are faithful

You are faithful, God, You are faithful

You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Changes are Coming

Well I guess I could change my mind, but I’m not. What I have been waiting for, praying for, and have felt called to do has now happened. I was called last Thursday from Catholic Charities to take a kid into my home, not just one, but two kids. (If you have no clue what I am talking about, I am licensed by Catholic Charities to do foster care for unaccompanied refugee minors. Here’s a synopsis of how it all went the call and me saying yes.

Thursday afternoon I was at school and I got a phone call from the recruiter at CC and was able to call her back about 2:00 and have the conversation. She told me they had just gotten a referral they wanted to offer to me. (The funny thing, a month before she had said they had not had a referral since Dec/Jan, she gave not indication that it would happen anytime soon, in fact, she seemed sure that it would not happen until the new year—there had just been a big slow down in any body coming over) The referral is for a 17 year old boy from Burma and 15 year old from Burma. (The funny thing about that part is that I had been told that I would be placed with girls and that boys were not an option. I really was fine with that, but I did not like the idea of being limited about with I could/would get.) She told me I needed to let her know by 4:30 that day. She told me some history about the two, sent me some information about both of them, and reiterated that she needed to today. The older boy is on a fast track to get here because of his age and will be coming within 3 weeks, the younger will probably come a little later—not exactly sure when. Well I quickly sent a text to some people who know that I am doing this asking for quick wisdom, talked it over with a couple of close co workers, and of course I said nervously said yes. I know that these two are not related, but that they are from the same people group. I assume that they do not know each other, but they could. Their history is very different. Both of their lives have been challenging and traumatic in their own way.

There are a bazillion things going through my mind. I’m excited, nervous, anxious, feeling completely inadequate, afraid, wondering if I have totally lost my mind, apprehensive, ect, ect.

This process has taken longer than I have thought it would. There have been times where I have been discouraged with it. My continual prayer though has been that God would be preparing my heart and the hearts of the child/children that would be become a part of my home and that they would come in his perfect timing.

Some specific things that you can pray for that are in my thoughts currently are just the logistics of having the kid. School in particular. There are some options, I live in Denton and work in Lewisville ISD. Like I said the logistics of it all. Within three weeks there should be this kid with me. He will need basic necessities, clothing, ect. Most likely he will come with one bag of something---maybe. I will try and keep you guys updated with this crazy adventure that I am about to partake in.

Thank you in advance for your prayers.

URM Video from Catholic Charties

Hopeful Possibility

My heart has been stirred for the poor and the needy for as long as I can remember. It might have started early when I would visit my mom schools on days off. I can remember sitting with one of her kindergartner boys (don't remember the kid's name) who was sick in the nurse's office and was going to home early. This was all going on right before Christmas. He was not feeling well, obviously, and I was sitting with him trying to comfort him before his mother got there. Trying to make small talk with the kid, I asked the kid what he wanted for Christmas. I can remember him saying all I want is some new socks without holes in them. My heart was crushed. I always believed growing up that I was a "poor" person. I was not afforded luxuries of name brands and the latest and greatest gadgets and"toys" as I felt many of the people around me were, but I never was in need or clothing, food, or most of all love. I have not really known hardships like many in our world have. My job as a teacher in Dallas and now in a more needy part of Lewisville has kept my heart stirring towards kids who need more that I could ever have imagined as a child.

My first year in Lewisville I my first two refugees. One from Burma and one from Nigeria. Now every since I have had a least one refugee from Burma. I do have a great connection with many in the Chin community at Lakeland. ( Chin is the people group from Burma that have settled in Lewisville.)

Last year I got a job offer to tutor some Chin Unaccompanied Refugee Minors (URM). URMs are refugees that have come to the United States with out their parents or other adult to take care of them. They have for whatever reason been separated from their family weather it is from death, or flight. To make a kinda long story short, I applied for the job, got offered the job, and then because of some summer opportunities that I had, I choose to decline the job. I remember thinking how interesting that would be for me to do one day.

Last Sunday when it snowed, I showed up to church early because of the weather and listened to a girl that is single and very close to my each. She had said she just finished her training to be a foster parent and had been given her first off--a 17 with a 2 year old daughter--she declined, not feeling like she was prepared for that her first time (I WOULD HAVE DONE THE SAME THING) But anyways I got home, snow and all not really able to do anything else and my brain started turning reflecting on the earlier conversation. Why couldn't I do that? The childish well is she can than why can't I? I truly believe God had that conversation happen for me to hear, and pulled that memory from last year back to my head. I spent hours looking for information on fostering URMs. I honestly really could find a way to contact some one for it here in the state of Texas. I was really frustrated, and then I thought I should email the lady that I had interviewed with and she could pass the information along to someone. I told people the next day at school my heart was stirring and I needed to find the information and set people out to pray about it. I sent emails to my brother and another friend who is a foster/adopt mom seeing if the have information. They did not, but I heard back from the lady I had emailed and that was not her program with Catholic Charities. Here is one of the funny/coincidences (sure it is) that if I had waited a week to send the email, I could not have started the process yet. But I did email and went to my first class last Saturday and and returning this week..

Pray with me through this please. I am excited and will give more details. This may help me to stay blogging for a bit.

Back in the Game???

Ok so I went the other day to blog on a friends post to post a comment and it took me forever to remember my password for the blog. I had no idea. I tried everything I could think of finally I got it. I know I think it says I have not posted anything since October or 2009 or sometime before or after that. I do think about this blog ofter, but have issues with significance and belief that things going on in my life are important. (I think it is called fear of man, in face I am sure that it is) I have spent some painful time trying to dig through my issues (and boy do I have them) and am relying on the verses

Luke 12:22-29

²²And he said to his disciples, "Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat, nor about your body, what you will put on. ²³For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. ²⁴Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds! ²⁵And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? ²⁶If then you are not able to do as small a thing as that, why are you anxious about the rest?27 Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. ²⁸But if God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field today, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! ²⁹And do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, nor be worried.

I am thankful for the process of self reflection/evaluation. I am thankful for the pricking of my heart and pleading the Lord to keep peeling away layers of being anxious/fearfulness/self-righteousness/ect...(what I can ISSUES)

I feel like I may share more about some of my "issues," but then again I may not. I think I will continue to write it this a little more regularly than once a year, but then again I may not.